St. Louis MO Divorce Law Blog

By Jack C. Hauser

All parents can agree upon one thing, children are expensive.   In most cases, children spend time in both parents' homes and each parent incurs out-of-pocket expenses.   In Missouri, a Parenting Plan must be incorporated into a Judgment if custody and/or visitation are at issue.  

In many Parenting Plans, the parties agree that they shall each be responsible for a percentage of any out-of-pocket medical expenses or other child-related expenses.  These expenses are separate and they are not included as part of the monthly child support amount.   Unreimbursed medical expenses can add up if the other parent fails to reimburse the parent who initially paid for the expense.

Some parents are very efficient at exchanging this information and reimbursing the other parent; however, the majority of parents have a difficult time exchanging this information and collecting money owed to them by the other parent.   Many parents either do not submit the bills to the other parent at all or they will save up the bills and submit them to the other parent to pay all at once.    The problem with submitting bills all at once is that the parent who owes the money may not have the ability to pay the amount due immediately.  

The best method to stay on top of expenses is to submit a summary report and attach the supporting documents and send the bills to the other parent bi-weekly or monthly either via mail or e-mail.   By sending reimbursement reports on a regular basis each parent has a better understanding of the expenses of the children. Also, if a parent refuses to pay their court-ordered share, a Motion to Determine Liability and a Motion For Contempt can be filed to enforce the amounts due sooner.  

In many Parenting Plan's, specific provisions are included which require parties to submit unreimbursed medical expense and other agreed upon child-related expenses within a defined time period and requires the other parent to reimburse the other parent for their share of the expense within a defined time period.  In many cases, the time period is thirty days.    It is important to read this clause in the Parenting Plan carefully because if a parent fails to submit the expense within thirty days, they are often barred from seeking reimbursement.

The following is an example of a spreadsheet I have my client's utilize to insure that unreimbursed expenses are being paid pursuant to the terms of the Judgment and Parenting Plan:

Each party can tailor their table to meet their specific needs.  The most important thing is to get in the practice of sending the report to the other parent with the back-up information on a regular basis so that there is a clear record of communication and a specific request for re-payment of the expenses.

Good record keeping and regular exchanges of information will promote each parent paying their respective share and will clearly define any disagreements that develop.

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By Alan E. Freed

When you are going through your divorce, the last thing you're likely to think about is how you'll feel when you hear of the death of your former spouse.  In the middle of all of the legal proceedings there's probably at least some part of you that secretly (or maybe not so secretly) would take a certain amount of satisfaction out of dancing on your soon-to-be-ex's grave.  But, when your better self takes hold, which sometimes takes a year or two from the time the judge signs the decree, you usually recognize that your children have the right to have two parents, even if one of them falls far short of the mark.

Eventually, your children will be adults and are likely to have children of their own.  That's when you and your former partner become co-grandparents.  If you've managed to work through your anger you'll be able to share the joy in the delivery room, at the baby naming, at the first birthday party, and at all the other happy events that will follow.  No, you don't need to be best friends, but your kids will be a lot happier if they know that family occasions can be pleasant opportunities to have a good time and maybe even to reminisce a little.

No matter how your post-divorce relationship evolves, you'll never be able to adequately plan for your former spouse's death.  That's when you'll realize that a part of your life is gone forever.  You'll also recognize that your children and grandchildren have suffered a huge loss.  You might even find yourself feeling a certain unexpected sadness at the passing of someone you once cared for and who once cared for you.

It's very easy to get lost in the hundreds of details that bog you down as you go through the seemingly endless divorce process.  Those details often make you spend all of your time focused on your immediate concerns:  How am I going to handle being questioned by my spouse's attorney?  Where will I live and how will I pay my bills when this divorce is over?  What will my children's lives look like after we split into two households? 

Remember, however, that there is life after divorce and that you have more control than you realize over how that life proceeds.  One of your choices will be how you choose to relate to your co-parent--your former spouse.  If you can find a way to make that new relationship work, you will discover a higher level of peace in your life and someday you'll be better able to dry your children's tears as they mourn the loss of their parent.

By Bruce E. Friedman

Frequently, one of the first questions a client may ask is "what is maintenance" and then the next questions, depending on who is doing the asking, are either "will I have to pay it" or "will I get it."  Other questions include "how much will I receive or have to pay," and "for how long."

Maintenance is spousal support and used to be called alimony in earlier times.  There are two tests to determine if someone will receive maintenance. First, they must lack sufficient income producing property to meet their "reasonable needs."  The term "reasonable needs" is a relative term and may be influenced by several factors including, but not limited to, the "standard of living" of the parties.  The law requires an examination of the "reasonable needs" of both parties and the ability to pay of the party from whom maintenance is sought. 

Second, the spouse seeking maintenance must be unable to support himself or herself through "appropriate" employment or be the custodian of a child whose circumstances make it inappropriate for the custodian to work outside the home.

Because there is no chart, graph or table to refer to as to this determination or as to the amount or duration of maintenance, the courts consider various factors, including the length of the marriage and the standard of living of the parties.  However, for the most part, if the Court determines that maintenance is appropriate, the award will likely be modifiable and will have an open ended duration.  The courts usually will not speculate as to when there will no longer be need for maintenance and will place the burden on the paying party to seek a modification in the future if they can demonstrate a substantial and continuing change in circumstances that makes the prior award unreasonable.

In most cases, unless a settlement agreement provides otherwise, the death of either party, or the remarriage of the recipient, automatically terminates maintenance.

Maintenance cases and actions to modify maintenance (to increase, decrease or terminate) are frequently very difficult to resolve, in part due to the lack of any official chart, graph or table that is tied to the duration of the marriage, age, standard of living or other factors. However, courts can, and frequently do, alter the amount, up or down, depending on the evidence of a change.

Lawyers generally base their assessment of these challenging issues on the unique facts of your case, case law involving similar situations and even the tendencies of the Judge that a case is assigned to.

Unlike child support, which has guidelines and a formula for determining amounts and laws that govern the duration, the determination of maintenance lacks these clear guidelines or any clear formula.  So, your lawyer must be familiar with case law concerning awards and modifications, and know the tendencies of the judge, in order to asses this emotional and challenging issue. 

You should discuss these questions with your attorney based on the facts of your situation, not on those of other people you may have heard stories from. 

While these cases can be difficult to resolve, with capable counsel, they are frequently resolved without the need for a trial.
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Amy Hoch Hogenson was awarded the Rising Star Award by Missouri Lawyers Media at the Women's Justice Awards on April 19, 2012. The Award recognizes women lawyers forty and under or within the first 10 years of practice who have already made a difference in the justice system or the profession and who appear on a path toward even greater accomplishment. The awards reach out to women in various segments of our community, including the bar, the bench, public office, civil service, business, academia, non-profits and the community. Ms. Hogenson is a member of the Firm's Family Law department and is certified to practice throughout Missouri and Illinois.　 Her areas of practice include divorce, child custody and paternity matters. She was recognized for her daily practice and for her work with St. Louis County's Domestic Violence Court as a special private prosecutor and with UrbanFUTURE.

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